so this thing started, say, 5 years and a half ago. within this 5 years and a half, so much happened. i guess could really trace all the way back to six years and a half? i don't know, i really, just can't let go of the past. it's like, forever living in misery, or something like that.
it's weird, how we used to think that things'll stay the way they are. how we were so innocent, thinking that forever does exist. but now we know, it's just a bunch of dreams that we made up. pretty, yet unreal. it's the dream that'll never come true. afterall, if it really could, wouldn't really be here wondering what happened to us. right?
it's been almost a year, well, technically speaking, it's already a year since the whole stupidity took place. it really sucks. you know, giving it all out, and what did i got in return? sure, i've learned my lesson, and grew to not wanting to trust any of the taiwanese guys... but then what happened before that? i don't know, and to tell the truth, really don't wanna think back about what i've done to myself for that person. i guess it's just the harder i try to running away from it, the harder i'll run into it. seriously, my little half hour trip to newark resulted me seeing storeS with his name, or his name as storeS name a couple time.
i don't know. just having so much things going on in my mind. see, this month is an excellent example of why i kinda have this negative images of taiwanese guys. true, i know handful of taiwanese guys that are extremely nice and understanding, well, gentlemen-like to be more general. but then there are also the GUYS that are just, ass. well, let's just talk about the ones that are in taiwan. they just... never gives up. i don't know. i mean, if i got dumped, or dump others, i wouldn't exactly want to get back with that person. consistantly wanting to get back with that person. it's been a year and a half since i officially, clear-cut broke up with him. it's been almost two full years since i broke up with him. but somehow, in his mind, he STILL thinks that we're together, and that the only reason we're not talking much now is because we're in an argument. ok, argument that lasted, three years? hmm, don't think so. not to mention that there's a little, relationship(?) in between of the so called, argument. and for the other, i don't know. he's just, really... same thing, just that he's not as... extreme as him. roar, and i can't be a bitch about it (up front) cuz he's like my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. this sucks.
so much is going on right now... *sigh*
applying for grad school. (think i can only apply for sjsu)
catching up on the intern hours... i'll need to work extra hours now
catching up on the "observation" that i never done... (it's late!)
still havn't did ANY of the readings (why did i spent those 300usd?)
room is still a mess...
mind, has always been a mess... with stuff...
roar. i hate it.
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OMG... i just spent the past 7 hours reading OLD posts...
hmmm mainly from 2004 (for me) and up to 2008 for someone...
it's like, WOW.................................................................
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